A day after two of the greatest collapses in Major League Baseball history were solidified within an hour and a half of each other, the New York Mets, the Michaelengelos of the choke job, laughed off the notion that they now had company.
“Blowing a 10 game lead with a month left? Please, I won’t be impressed until they do it again next year,” said first base coach Mookie Wilson. Relief pitcher Manny Acosta went on to say that his team could double down on Bostonand Atlanta’s “bet” by blowing a 22 game lead next year. Catcher Ronny Paulino said that next season’s team would make the 07 and 08 Mets look like “a group of competent f***s.” He ensured reporters that the Mets would win zero games next September.
Measures are already being taken to ensure this historic collapse: businessman Omar Minaya is looking to buy a majority holding in the Madoff crippled organization, Moises Alou has been hired as equipment manager, and Julio Franco will be brought in to bat cleanup. It is unclear what role Miguel Cairo will play, but it is reported to be “significant.”
Not one member of the team mentioned how they planned to put the team in a position to initiate their collapse.*
- Chris Bacarella
*Classic Mets, everyone stays mum but we all know it’s coming.